Attention seeking
Barking, whining, jumping up, squeaking, bringing you toys, staring at you with a wagging tail – I think we all recognise the signs of a dog who is after our attention! As much as they would like us to, it is not possible to give your dog attention all of the time – and it wouldn’t be in their best interests anyway.
So how do we manage attention seeking behaviour? Let’s take a look.
What is your dog communicating
We are often told to ignore attention-seeking behaviour but this seems wild to me. We wouldn’t ignore a friend if they asked for our attention by texting to say hello, we wouldn’t ignore a child communicating their need for physical touch – so why is the first port of call to ignore our dogs’ cries for attention?
Yes, we often want to ignore unwanted behaviours so we don’t inadvertently reinforce them (e.g. jumping up) but if your dog is asking for attention, there may be an unmet need there. Pay attention to the time of day that your dog is bothering you – is it always around the same time? Always before or after the same event?
They may be bored, hungry, needing the toilet or – as is often the case – overstimulated and unable to settle.
I try to spend the mornings catching up on paperwork and admin tasks and this is the time that Kenny is most likely to ask for attention. He will entertain himself for a while – chasing his ball around, looking out the window at people on the school run – but by around 9:30/10:00, he’s at his limit and will start looking at me and squeaking. He’s bored and starting to get frustrated. This is my cue to start getting ready to talk him for his walk. Yes, it can be a bit annoying to have to cut my work short but I got a high-energy, working breed for a reason and it wouldn’t be fair of me to be irritated by him being true to his nature.
I am lucky to be self-employed and able to plan my day around my dog’s walk but if this weren’t the case, I could give him a piece of enrichment to tide him over or get a dog walker in to take him for a morning walk. Ignoring him certainly wouldn’t help – he’d only find ways of entertaining himself (that would probably involve pestering the cats or eating my shoes).
How do we meet this need
If your dog is bothering you and they haven’t been outside to potty for a while, haven’t had a meal or their walk, then the answer is clear. If you meet this need, they’ll stop bothering you.
The difficulty comes when, on the face of it, all of your dog’s needs have been met and yet they are still whining at you – wanting to play, have pets and generally be the centre of your attention. They’ve had their walk, you’ve tried lick mats, chews, snuffle mats, tug of war and yet they’re still on your case for more. This is common in puppies/young dogs and working breeds.
This is when we need to consider if we are doing too much for our dogs. A bored dog looks very similar to a dog who is over-stimulated. If we are constantly throwing activities at our dogs, particularly if we are giving them multiple walks a day, then we are constantly stacking them and never giving them a chance to properly unwind. This can tip them into a state of constant over-arousal, where they don’t know how to switch off because they’ve become addicted to this busy state.
If this is the case, it’s also very likely that your dog is not getting enough quality rest. An adult dog should be getting around 14 hours of sleep a day, but often, they will need even more than this. If your dog is constantly ‘on the go’ then they can’t be getting this vital rest.
Imagine what would happen if a toddler was sleep deprived on a long term basis – their behaviour would become very difficult to manage very quickly.
You may need to allow your dog to switch off by doing less and teaching them to settle.
Teaching a self-settle
Once you’ve established whether all your dog’s needs are being appropriately met, you may need to focus on teaching your dog to be calm.
For the average working dog, 1-2 hours walking a day with another hour of play/enrichment should be more than enough to keep them calm, happy and fulfilled. They should also have days off from walking every now and then, to give them a chance to recharge properly.
This means, your dog is going to have time at home where they aren’t asleep or engaging with you where they need to either: a) entertain themselves or b) be comfortable doing nothing.
Like anything, these are skills that we can teach. We want to be promoting independence in our dogs by letting them make choices.
The ‘place’ command can also be a useful way of teaching calmness for your dog. This command is great because it’s teaching them that if they go on their bed and hang out, then good things will happen.
And that’s it! This is how we can help our dogs (and ourselves!) with attention-seeking behaviours.
If you find that your dog is needier with one member of the family, this is quite common. They will generally seek attention more from their primary care giver. They are also very good at working out who is the most likely to give in to their attempts. My dog doesn’t squeak at my partner for walks, because it’s always me who takes him!
As always, if you need any help identifying your dog’s needs or teaching them independence or a self-settle then I am here to help, either in person or online. Click here to drop me a message.
