Puppy Blues
Raising a happy, well-rounded puppy is hard. It’s really, really hard. Yet just how difficult having a puppy often is is not really something that we hear about. Bringing up a puppy is a huge commitment, which takes massive patience and understanding.
Due to the difficulties associated with puppy-parenthood, for many, the puppy blues hits. And it hits hard. Once your dog is older, it’s easy to forget this stage but when you’re in the middle of puppy blues, it can feel incredibly isolating and overwhelming.
Owners may find themselves wondering if they made the wrong decision getting dog, whether the relentless biting, chewing, jumping, accidents and barking will ever stop. If you’re the owner of a puppy (or a new dog) and you’re struggling, you are not alone!
The ‘puppy blues’ is a term coined to describe the negative feelings that many people experience in the first few weeks after bringing home a new dog.
It often involves the state of feeling overwhelmed, sad, anxious, stressed, regretful and guilty. Once the initial excitement has worn off and the reality of having this small, fluffy and utterly dependant thing sets in, owners (and particularly first-time owners) can feel massively overwhelmed. Many will even consider returning their puppy.
Anecdotal evidence suggests that puppy blues are generally most intense in the three weeks from their onset and usually resolve entirely within three months. The symptoms of puppy blues have an awful lot of cross over with clinical/post-natal depression and so this phenomenon is really not one to be brushed aside.
In the photo to the left, Kenny (my own dog) was 9 weeks old. We’d had him for about a week and I was seriously struggling. He was waking up 3 or 4 times each night and barking and barking and barking and I was utterly exhausted. I had taken time off work to settle him in and my partner (James) had returned to work, so I was with Kenny all day, every day, without a break. One morning, I broke down and cried when James was about to leave, saying that I just couldn’t do this any more! I was so, so tired!
I also felt immense guilt due to my feelings of sadness and regret. Kenny was a puppy – none of this was his fault! I completely understood his behaviours and how he must be feeling, so what sort of monster must I be to be feeling sad and depressed myself? Guilt is totally normal in the puppy blues and only exacerbates the feelings of sadness associated with it. You’re tired, sad and feeling guilty on top of it all? That’s a lot to manage.
This was my experience as a professional, who knew what to expect and how to raise a puppy, but I still felt completely alone and totally overwhelmed. Exhaustion will do crazy things to the mind and body!
Kenny and I got through it. We found a night routine that worked for him and soon enough, he only needed one toilet break in the night and I was having uninterrupted sleep. He was okay being left for an hour here and there and I made time for myself, away from him.
Now, he is the best thing in my life (sorry, James) and I cannot imagine being without him but I vividly remember how hard those first couple of weeks were. I wanted to share my own experience as I don’t think people speak about the difficulties associated with bringing home a puppy enough.
Getting a puppy is different for everyone. If you have children, then you already know what it is like to have another life depend 100% on you. But if you are considering getting a puppy, or already have one and are struggling, I would urge you to reach out to friends and family. Take time for yourself – you cannot look after a puppy properly if you are stressed and burnt out.
Remember: this too shall pass. Day by day, little by little, your puppy will make progress until one day, you’ll realise that a behaviour you were struggling with isn’t being seen anymore. You will make it through and have the companion you always dreamed of when you adopted your puppy.
And as always, if you are really struggling to manage, I am here to help. Get in touch here.
