Polite vs Rude Dog Greetings: How to Help Your Dog Interact Properly
As dog owners, one of the most important skills we can teach our dogs is how to interact politely with others. While dog-to-dog greetings might seem simple, they are nuanced behaviours that can shape how our dogs navigate their world and build relationships with other dogs. A polite dog greeting is not only about avoiding aggressive or inappropriate behaviour, but also about teaching our dogs how to communicate confidently and calmly.
The Curve, Not the Charge
When dogs approach each other, a polite greeting should follow a natural curve, rather than a straight line. If your dog charges directly at another dog, it can be perceived as threatening or overwhelming, especially by more nervous dogs. Dogs, like us, value personal space, and a straight-line approach can make them feel cornered or trapped. Instead, allow your dog to take a gentler, curved path towards the other dog. This gives both dogs the opportunity to assess each other at their own pace without feeling pressured.
No Stiffness, No Tension
A key sign of a polite greeting is a relaxed, soft body posture. Dogs that approach each other with stiffness or tension may be signalling discomfort, uncertainty, or potential aggression. Ideally, there should be no signs of anxiety—such as a raised head, stiff tail, or hard stare—when they meet. If you notice these signs, it’s a good idea to intervene before the greeting escalates into something less than friendly. A relaxed dog will typically have their body language more fluid, with a wagging tail, soft eyes, and loose movements.
The Sequence of Sniffs
When dogs meet, the most polite greeting involves a sequence of sniffs. First, they may sniff each other’s faces, which is a way for them to gather information about the other dog’s identity. Then, they’ll often move to sniff each other’s bottoms—this is perfectly natural and a socially acceptable form of greeting for dogs. However, it’s important to note that going straight for the genital area is considered rude, and can be unsettling for the other dog. Let the dogs take their time to go through this sequence naturally and avoid forcing the interaction or intervening unless necessary.
The Significance of Lying Down
It’s tempting to believe that a dog lying down before a greeting is a sign of politeness, but this can be problematic. Lying down is often the first stage of the predatory sequence—it’s a sign that the dog is either unsure of the interaction or is beginning to stalk. This behaviour can indicate that your dog is feeling overwhelmed or worried and may not be in the best mental state to make positive decisions during the greeting. Instead, dogs should remain upright as they approach. This keeps the interaction open and non-threatening, allowing both dogs to feel in control.
Hackles and Overarousal
Hackles raised along a dog’s back are often a sign of heightened arousal, which can indicate excitement, nervousness, or potential conflict. While raised hackles don’t always mean aggression, they’re a signal that the interaction is becoming too intense or that one of the dogs is uncomfortable. If you notice hackles, it’s usually best to intervene and give the dogs some space. An ideal greeting should last no more than 5-10 seconds—just enough time for the dogs to assess each other before continuing on with their walk. Prolonged greetings can escalate tension, especially if the dogs are unfamiliar with each other.
The Role of the Dog Owner
It’s essential to remember that dogs do not need to play with every dog they meet. Socialisation is about positive, low-stress interactions—not every meeting has to turn into a play session. If your dog cannot greet another dog politely, it’s your responsibility to create space and avoid forcing the interaction. Allowing a dog to interact rudely can lead to poor experiences, and potentially negative corrections from the other dog. It’s important to realise that it’s not another dog’s job to correct your dog’s behaviour; that responsibility lies with you. Some dogs might not be the best “teachers” when it comes to correcting inappropriate behaviour, so it’s crucial that you step in and manage your dog’s interactions effectively.
Conclusion
Polite dog greetings are an essential part of socialising your dog to the world around them. By teaching your dog to approach others with respect, avoid overwhelming body language, and follow the natural greeting sequence, you’re helping them develop healthy social skills. As a responsible dog owner, it’s your job to moderate these interactions, ensuring that they are positive and comfortable for all involved. By doing so, you’re not only keeping your dog safe, but you’re also contributing to a more harmonious dog community.